Getting real with God Part 8

Journal 8

God:

How are you going today?

Matthew:

I have been sleeping in. I have been putting off this homework as Alex has added more to it and I am not sure that I can cope. It seems so much to do.

God:

You will get used to it. Your flesh is just rebelling. We will be with you and help you move forward.

Matthew:

My book sales have dropped off this month. This concerns me. My prophecy requests and income has dropped off also. I had no idea that the counselling would do this. Alex said book sales would increase when the counselling was finished, and I had no idea that they would plummet before then.

I guess you know everything and you know the future. I just wish it would not hurt me where it means a lot to me. You know, I get some of my self-esteem from book sales and now that is being taken away. It’s hard to cope.

This counselling and this homework is taking a lot out of me, and I have not had the strength to edit my next book. I am concerned that my purpose for living is being taken away from me and this is scary for me, for this is all that I know.

God:

I am aware of your concerns. I am aware that you feel that you are losing things and purpose for living. It makes sense that you would be concerned as a writer for your book sales are way down. I promise you will get through this. We need you to be strong and gather yourself up and fight to get through this. We have a chance to get you healed and that is more important than book sales and your writing.

Even if you don’t produce many books as you get healed, you won’t lose the gift that you have in you. When you are healed you can go back to writing and everything will be better than ever. You simply need to trust us in the process. We know what we are doing in your life. There is a lot to be addressed and we need you full attention.

Openness and vulnerability 8 

Matthew:

What lie and I believing?

Father:

You believe that book numbers in sales make you worthwhile

Matthew:

Yes, I do believe that modest book sales make me worthwhile. This is so much part of me. It makes no sense that some spirit can be affecting book sales. What about the Holy Spirit? Hasn’t he got any power when it comes to my books?

Father:

Whether a spirit is affecting your book sales or not, the point is that you only feel worthy when you are selling books. That needs to be stripped away from you. You have to feel worthy because we love you and have made you worthy.

It is important for you to understand. You are not made to have great books sales. I have been telling you for months and months that it is quality and not quality. The only way you will seem to come to grips with that is of book sales decrease like they have.

I feel your pain. I can feel your sorrow and your sadness. I can see that you are hurting though this process. Jesus spoke about how we have to die, in order to live. You are simply going through a death process. It is not because we don’t love you, it is quite the contrary.

I love you so much Matthew. Do you think we would take you through something painful without having a redeeming reason for it? I have so much for you to understand and I have so much that I want to do in you and through you. We have so much that we have to accomplish together. We have so much work to do. I want your full attention. I want you to pay attention to me. I want you to do what I want you to do. I don’ want you distracted writing books for others. I want to concentrate on you and us.

Matthew:

It just hurts me Father. It hurts.

Father:

Yes, putting things to death is hard. It’s a painful process. We have to make changes in your life and we need room to move. We have to change you and shift your focus. It will cause you some pain but you will be a better person after we are done. And your books will always be published and available for people to buy. You are not losing them. One day, the book sales will take off again, and like Alex said they will go through the roof.

Take care

Courts of Heaven 8

Jesus take me to the courts.

I see the courts. I thank you Father for allowing me to come before you. Thank you for being the judge and being worthy to be the judge of heaven and earth. I praise you and honour you. I thank you Jesus for being here and being present for me. I praise you and honour you. I want to thank my personal angels for being here. I honour you in this place.

I see the accuser; he says without book sales Matthew is unworthy.

Father, I agree with the accusation. It is true that I do unworthy as a writer with poor book sales. I know I am far more that I writer and I am more valuable to the body of Christ then just being a writer/teacher but it is where I get my identity from. I repent for my thoughts and beliefs.

Father

I forgive you Matthew. This is particularly hard for you to come to grips with. I wash you with the blood of Jesus and cleanse you. I declare that you are worthy just as you are. I set in motion ways that you can get to know yourself better and come to see yourself as we see you.

I give you a scroll that says, “ I am worthy.”

Put it up with your scrolls on you wall.

I judge the accuser and send him to his punishment.

Matthew:

I come to the court of the behalf of some other people. I bring you sister Grace. She has these needs.

Her  spiritual eyes and ears can  be opened
That she may encounter the 7 Spirits of God
That she may have a Financial breakthrough: get rid of financial oppression n spirit of lack

I ask that you address these matters for her.

Father:

I will address this

I bring Esther to you also that she may experience breakthrough in her life spiritually and financially.

Father

I will act.

I thank you Father for your help and your love. Thank you for addressing these requests and being part of my life. Thank you Jesus and angels for being part of this. I praise you all for being a part of my life. I leave the courts now.