Journal 61
God:
How are you?
Matthew:
I am doing okay. My cleaner is here and doing a good job. Today is the day I have to exercise and I am not looking forward to it. I guess that may be so for many people. I skipped a day which I should not have done and a friend wrote me a prophetic word saying I need to look after my health. I guess that was you reminding me to exercise.
God:
Yes, it was a polite way of me saying it. I wanted to speak to you about it and it was an easy way for me to communicate with you. I know that you will listen to your friends when they say God has a word for you. It was simple and easy thing to say. It will take discipline for you to do the exercise every second day.
I am proud of you not sleeping all day today. You have got up at the right time and at a reasonable time you have started to do your homework. It is great to see you making an effort, knowing that you will have more homework to do later today, every second hour.
Things are getting hard for you to do. It will take strong personal discipline for you to do your exercises and your homework. Just take it one day at a time and get it done each day. You will get used to it soon enough.
Matthew:
Thank you for your reassurance with it. I guess I will get used to it in time.
Openness and Vulnerability 61
Matthew:
What lie am I believing?
Father:
You think that you are going to have too hard a time with your healing
Matthew:
Yes, this sounds like something I have been thinking. I am upset personally that I have to do all this homework. I have to be honest it is very draining and takes a lot out of me. I am used to these journals but doing to extra ones is a lot to me. It is a hard time for me.
Every once in a while I feel like quitting. I know I can’t quit but I feel like it. I don’t even understand what we are doing. It is beyond me. I have no idea what we are doing in these counselling sessions. It’s like I am simply going in blind and not having any control in what happens.
I simply have to trust you that you put Alex in my life for a reason and to get me healed and I have to trust that he knows what he is doing. Because I have no clue why we are doing what we are doing. I personally don’t like not being in control of something and I feel that I have no control in this process.
To be honest with you, I am not enjoying myself. It is hard for me. Every part of it. I wish I never had things wrong with me. To be honest, I am upset with you for allowing this to happen to me and my life. There it has been said. It does not seem fair to me.
Father:
I am pleased that you are getting honest with yourself and me. Life for you has been very difficult and I know you have suffered. It was not what we wanted to happen, but it has become what it is. You just need to be patient with us as let us heal you. I love you Matthew. You will make it through. You are an overcomer. I know it has been hard for you but think of all the people that you are going to liberate and set free when they hear you story. Think of the thousands of people that you are going to help when you share your testimony.
We are making you into a strong prophet. We are going to use you in amazing ways. You are going to make a huge impact. Please find it on your heart to forgive us for allowing it to happen to you. Please let it go and don’t let it eat you up. Bless you.
Courts of Heaven.
Matthew:
Jesus, take me to the courts.
I see the courts. I see the Father. I honor him. I see Jesus and I honor him. I see angels in the courts. I see my personal angels and I give them each a hug.
I see the accuser, He says I am weak.
I feel he has said that already about me. I am weak. I agree with this. I have to say that Paul confessed that he was strong even in his weaknesses. It is my weaknesses that are going to become my greatest testimony and have the most power and authority to bring healing to others. I repent for my attitudes toward healing.
Father:
You are forgiven Matthew. Take one day at a time. Don’t think of the wole day and what you need to do. Just take one moment and one hour at a time. We will encourage you. You have areas in your life that are weak but we are working on them. I wash you in the blood of Jesus.
I judge the accuser, and send him to be punished.
I write a scroll for you, “My weaknesses will become my shining testimony and strengths.”
Matthew:
I thank the Father. I thank Jesus and my angels. I leave the courts.