A Psalm of Matthew

I am so sorry Father for what we have made it
I am so sorry for the way the church acts
I am grieved that people sing to Jesus but don’t obey him
They speak great words about him, but refuse to do what he taught.

My heart is so grieved for you and your life.
My heart weeps with sorrow for you
Open up the hearts of your people Lord
Wake up the people who are called by your name.

Here I am crying, what can I do.
I speak but no one is listening, it seems
My words fall on the ears of men,
and they think of me like a nagging wife.

Your people have run after the spirit of the world
Your servants have become like Baalam.
The land is full of idols and the world is obsessed
with the things that are not eternal

The pulpits and airwaves have demons seducing
The people have thrown off restraint
And the people have rebelled and turned away
From the living water and built their own cisterns.

I am like Paul who didn’t want to live anymore
I am Lot in a world that is full of sin
I am like a prophet crying in the wilderness
And weeping and weeping like Jeremiah.

I cry great wells of tears as no one knows you
Nor do they understand
They are all sleeping
and they have gone astray.

Your priests and shepherds lead the flock to mammon
Your holy servants have clothes stained with blood
Instead of intimacy and sacrifice,
They have made a covenant with Baal and other gods.

All day long I think of you and cry
My tears fall like the rain that brings life
But my influence is little
and my words are scoffed at and rejected.

I am overcome with your grief
I am beaten down by your holiness and grief
I am a thirsty and dying man 
Wandering hungry in the wilderness.

I am a hidden man, humbly trying to endure
the life of a prophet, the life of a teacher
The life of an intimate friend of your Son
A life of indescribable torture.

How long oh, Lord do we have to wait
How long do I need to endure and weep
When will your bride form an army
and when will the Idolatry be smashed

When will there be change
When can I come and speak to the world
How long can you endure this suffering
How can you stand the pain

I speak but my pain wells up
and my face steams with tears
My heart is weighed down with sorrows
that I am a dead man walking.

This way of living, I did not choose
This deep grief and sorrow it runs over me
like the wind billows over the seas
However not my will but yours be done

I give you my life again today
As a living sacrifice, I submit
to be poured out like a drink offering
For it is only in your will that I am free.

Comfort me, oh Lord
Visit me with your presence 
Walk with me, like Adam walked in the garden
and let us weep together face to face.

Increase my influence in this day world
Increase my anointing and power
Open doors for me so I can speak
And prophesy to the dry bones!

The words of the unknown prophet
Matthew Robert Payne 
Sydney Australia, 2019.