Getting Right with God- Part 43

Journal 43

God:

How are you today?

Matthew:

I am pretty emotional. I have to part ways with y publisher because he has too many money problems and ii can’t bail him out of them. It is a sad day for me. I have arranged for someone else to prepare my books for me so that us good. I am sad because I really liked Bill but he seemed to be getting more and more in debt and he would have started to drag me down with him.

I am in a place where, I could do with a cash injection, if you want to have someone give me a good donation.

God:

Nothing has taken me by surprise. I am the one that is in control and since you are submitted to me and my will, I like to think I am in control of your life. I really achieved a lot with Bill and you and together you got a lot of books published. You can thank me for the partnership.

Matthew:

I do thank you for showing me Bill. I enjoyed our time together. I think I have done Bill a favour leaving as he now can get to work in fixing his life without his publishing company. He says that he will be closing in six weeks’ time.

Openness and Vulnerability 43

Matthew:

What lie am I believing?

Father:

You think that you have to give more than 100% in every relationship you have. You really don’t value yourself like you should. You tend to give a lot in relationships. You try you best to maintain friendships even when we want them to be over. Today, we had to coax you away from Bill and it still took you ringing someone else to get confirmation that it was the right thing to do.

You have a low self-esteem and so you will do anything for love and will even compromise yourself and you self-worth to be able to maintain a friendship. This was proven in your relationship with Bill. Now that you have told him you are leaving he has said he will shut up his company in six weeks. He was holding on for you and now you have released him. Part of it was the pain of change and like anyone you don’t like change. But most of the reason you stayed was out of loyalty to Bill.

I want you to be free to only put your share of your love into any relationship. You don’t have to give 100% of your side and 50% of the other persons side to any relationship and yet that is what you do many times because you feel unworthy. We need to stop this behaviour now.

Matthew:

I renounce this lie in my life, the lie that says I need to put in more than 100% into any relationship.

I will try and be myself and hold true to who I am.

Father:

Good.