Getting right with God- Part 53

Journal 53

God:

How are you?

Matthew:

I had good sleep. I had a couple of dreams I remember. Both of them were about travelling in various forms. One was a car and one was a yacht. I think the dreams have something to with my life and ministry. I don’t know what they mean. I am no good at interpreting my own dreams.

I was talking to a friend at church about relationships and I asked him if he had ever been close to being married. When he told me his story about how he had come close one time to being married, I told him about my life with women.

I told him I had been married for a couple of years once and then I had been engaged to a prostitute. I found myself telling him that I had slept with hundreds of prostitutes over the years of my life.

As, I shared with him that I had slept with many women of the night, I found myself reminiscing about Hailey the last prostitute that I had fallen in love with. She stopped me seeing her because I was in love with her. I still love her.

God:

I know that you love her. You made an impact in her life. I know that life has been hard for you not having a wife in your life. It was not our desire for you to be single through all of these years. It was an assignment from the enemy that was caused by unhealed trauma in your life. You are going to work on that with Alex and in a few years you will be a good partner for a woman of faith.

I want you to know that we are going to work on Hailey’s life and in the future you will see her in heaven. You can be friends in heaven. We know you love her. Take care.

Openness and Vulnerability 53

Father:

That is the third time you have spelt openness and vulnerability right without spell check. Three times in fifty-three attempts. It’s a good thing you have an editor for your books. Ha ha.

Matthew:

You are funny God. You make me happy. What lie am I believing?

Father

You think physical touch is your answer to your pain. You long to be touched. Even a friend massaging you at church today had you melting. It’s no wonder why you were addicted to prostitutes. Physical touch is comforting but it can’t be compared to a proper relationship with us.

It is so endearing for us to see you enjoying getting a haircut because someone is touching you. You long to be touched. It’s a really good thing that your counselling is taking all of your money so you don’t have enough money to see prostitutes. You are spending money to get better and in the process you are not sinning and hurting women and yourself.

Matthew:

It is true, I do have painful life. I have often turned to immoral means to treat my pain. I repent for doing that. I renounce this lie in my life. I desire to walk free of this bondage. I thank you for exposing all of the lies in my life. You are a good God and you have my best interests in your heart. I have often ought out comfort in the arms of a woman. Not only did it not provide lasting comfort but it kept me broken, broke and full of shame and condemnation.

I desire to be free. I trust that you have provided Alex to walk me out of this mess and the bondage that I am in.

Father:

Trust in Alex. Trust in the process. Take care.

Courts of Heaven 53

Matthew:

Bob, take me to heaven to the courts.

I see the courts. I see Bob Jones next to me with Jesus. I honor both of them. I see the Father and he is smiling at me. I leave my bench and go and give him a big hug. He embraces me. I see my personal angels. I give each of them a hug. Each of them whisper something in my ear as I hug them.

I see the accuser, He says that I am a weak person and I won’t be able to quit being immoral.

I agree that I am weak. I am not healed enough to walk free but I have confidence as I am healed I will be able to walk free of sin. I can understand that this accusation sounds true. I repent for my behaviour when it comes to women and porn. I humbly ask God to heal my life.
Father:

I forgive you Matthew. You have weaknesses but we are going to heal you where you need healing. We are going to do a mighty work in your life. You are an overcomer and very bold. We are going to see you walk in total freedom so that this accusation holds no weight in your life.

I judge the accuser and send him to be punished.

I write a scroll for you, “I am strong and mighty to face all temptations and overcome.”

Bib Jones:

Keep on going Matthew. You are doing well and we all are so proud of you.

Matthew:

I thank you Father for your scroll and your words to me. I honor you. I honor you Jesus. Thank you for being by my side. I love you. Thank you my personal angels. I leave the courts.